I LIIIIIIIIVE...

Welcome one and all, to my first journal update since August of last year (Damn...that's a LONG time). I'm not exactly sure when I became such a slacker- actually, scratch that, 'cause I know exactly when... I sincerely want to apologise if anybody really cares.

Firstly, the reason for my sudden urge to come back. To tell the truth, and not to sound sappy and all that, but I missed DA. It wasn't a long, extended yearning to be honest. In fact, I was simply sitting at my desk about 5 minutes ago when it HIT me. I miss it. I miss drawing, I miss talking to my DA friends, I miss the feeling of being part of something bigger. I missed your support if something went wrong, and I missed the feeling I got when I watched people improve their art so much. It just....hit me.

My priorities changed a while ago. DA just...became a bother. I think I started to take everything for granted (not that I had much of anything). It happened in real life too- I just couldn't be bothered keeping in touch with some of my friends out of school. Sloth takes you slowly, but surely. Drawing changed from something I looked foward to doing to something I did if I felt I needed to. The drive to draw just dissapated after a while. I no longer wanted to really commit myself to ANYTHING I didn't have to.

I stopped browsing DA. I didn't check my message centre. I've been ignoring you, virtually. I've spent so much time just...doing nothing. It's kinda hard to explain- I just didn't want to do it any more.

But, just a few minutes ago, I was staring at my computer screen and I suddenly felt...lost. I haven't drawn anything in months. My tablet is most likely going to kill me when I try to touch it tonight. And...I want to be part of it again. I want to post things, and I want to try (and most likely fail...) to improve my art. I want to stare at people who can draw, and comment and just- I WANT TO LIVE! I want to DRAW! I DON'T want to post this entry and then dissappear again for a year. I want to exist!

I need to try and strike a balance between being online and being off. Don't stick with one at a time- hopefully I can attempt to multitask. X3

I will probably start small. If at all. I'll post a few sketches, and hopefully in the holidays I will be able to pull off a few big works. But at any rate, I shouldn't just be ignoring my account like I have been. Maybe I could ask for your forgiveness? (but then again.... I may be flattering myself to assume that I'm important enough to warrant such emotion..haha.)

IN OTHER NEWS

Just had my midyear Exams. ^^ I'm doing VCE this year, and I'm studying German, Chinese, Japanese, English, Advanced General Maths and Year 12 Biology. I got my English exam back today at school (A+!!!!! I'm SO HAPPY! ), but the GAT and my 3/4 Biology exam will not be returned for a few months. *is nervous*

Have a debate on Monday. *is really nervous* Our school's debating teams are going really well this year, and I don't want to be the one who has to break the bad news to them if I lose it for them..... nyaargh.

I am now officially trying to lose *weight*. nyaaargh....... I've put on a bit, so no more chocolate for meeeeeee~ At least not for a while. Maybe. X_@;

I have been keeping up with some anime through my brother, and through youtube (I KNOW it's illegal. But....). Currently reading xxxholic, Tsubasa Chronicles and some Naruto. Watching Death Note (NYYARRGH, it's good. GOOD good. ) and wishing I could somehow be able to eat as much as L does without putting on weight. X_@; I wish.

I hope, I HOPE, that this will signal a new time where I really do answer people's comments and their artwork. It'll be hard work, but......I WANT TO, and that's all that matters right now. ~


reimyourou.